Mom-guilt shows up when I least expect it. It’s like that pesky cough that refuses to go away. And then comes back full-force on the day you’re scheduled to make a huge presentation to the CEO of your company.
This past yom tov I had the biggest bout of mom guilt I’ve ever experienced. I never thought I’d have overwhelming guilty feelings about being a bad mom over vacation! Those feelings are usually reserved for times I’m working late or when I’m too tired because of my work schedule. Basically my past mom-guilt experiences were always the result of work.
Here’s the story in a nutshell: my two older kids and I all had off from school/work the entire Succos. The plan was for there to be an even amount of kid fun and mom fun. (Obviously that didn’t happen or else this would be a different type of post.)
Before vacation started I had a plan in place. I wanted to accomplish 5 things:
I figured that we would spend the early mornings and late evenings for my things and the middle of the day would be reserved for fun activities with the kids.
Time escaped me. Completely. With all the days of yom tov and DS3 getting sick on the first day of chol hamoed there wasn’t much time to get stuff done and I feel like I put myself before my kids. I used our vacation time to do my things.
What I really wanted was to be able to give my kids a chol hamoed experience they wouldn’t forget. I had plans of taking them to the most fun places around (think bouncy houses). Places they’d be talking about long after leaving.
But that didn’t happen.
I realize that every mom needs time to herself. Moms have to get things done too. Working moms are so lacking in time, it’s natural for us to choose housework over trips.
I know that my kids still had a great chol hamoed. They may not have gone to exciting places, but they got to spend a lot of time together. They played together. They laughed together. They fought together (it’s inevitable). They bonded with each other even though it wasn’t in a super fun, unforgettable place.
Until next time,